


Panic Attack

by Loubear_Hester



Category: Larry Stylinson - Fandom
Genre: Anxiety, Anxiety Attacks, Gay, Larry Stylinson Is Real, Love, M/M, One Direction Tours, Panic Attacks
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-02-28
Updated: 2018-02-28
Packaged: 2019-03-25 02:22:46
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,197
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/13824468
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Loubear_Hester/pseuds/Loubear_Hester
Summary: Harry and Louis are in love with each other yet neither they or the other person knows it yet. Harry has been struggling with panic attacks and Louis finds out. They are currently touring with One Direction.





	Panic Attack

Harry’s POV

Harry woke with a jolt. He was covered in sweat, and his heart was pounding. He could feel the horribly familiar sensation of his chest compressing as he struggled to breathe. He was having another panic attack. This had been happening more and more lately and he had no idea why. Anxiety never used to be a issue for him, but in the last month or so, he had been having these horrible panic attacks. Anything or nothing could set one off, and Harry hadn’t told anyone about them yet. He had begun to hyperventilate, and as he cupped his shaking hands around his mouth and breathed into them he felt his vision begin to go black around the edges.

Suddenly the curtain around his bunk was pulled back and the familiar face of Louis Tomlinson AKA his best friend AKA the man he possibly loved appeared around it. His face was full of concern, and Harry tried to turn away to hide the tears now streaming down his cheeks.  
“What’s going on, what happened Haz?” Louis whispered  
“Are you hurt?”  
Harry considered telling the truth but he knew he couldn’t without breaking down again.  
“No I-I just had a b-bad dream, s-sorry for waking you Lou” He stuttered.  
Louis frowned “It’s fine love, are you ok now?”  
Harry blushed at the pet name but said he was fine now.  
Louis saw right through that lie as he could see the boys hand shaking under the duvet.  
“Do you want me to stay?”  
Harry knew he should say no, he didn’t want to bother Louis more than he already had, but his heart was still pounding in his chest from the panic attack, and he knew he would be scared to go back to sleep on his own, even with four other guys on the tour bus. He smiled gratefully and rolled over. Louis climbed in beside him.

Harry couldn’t sleep, but he was happy with the soft weight of Louis next to him. He watched as he smiled softly in his sleep. Harry had never questioned his sexuality before he met Louis, but during these last five years, their friendship had grown so strong and Harry wasn’t sure if it was turning into something more. He knew he definitely wasn’t straight, but he had had girlfriends in the past. He tried to think of girls he found attractive, but he couldn’t really think of any, none that compared to the sweet creature sleeping beside him. The fans had shipped them for years, and Harry was never bothered by it, but it always seemed to make Louis uncomfortable. That’s why Harry had never told Louis how he really felt, but now Harry was beginning to feel like he wanted to talk to Louis about it. If only to say that he was confused about his sexuality, Louis was his best friend and always had good advice. Harry also new that he should tell someone about his panic attacks. They did their first show of the tour the previous night and Harry had had to go off mid song because he started freaking out. He had never had stage fright before, but last night he just looked out over the crowd and suddenly felt terrified. He had told the boys he had food poisoning and had thrown up, and he went on for the rest of the show and had been fine, but Harry had a feeling that this wasn’t a one time thing. He looked at the clock and saw it was 3.26, he really needed to get some sleep. He curled up next to Louis and closed his eyes.

Louis’ POV

Louis opened his eyes. At first he was confused about where he was but then he registered the weight on his arm where Harry was sleeping and remembered the events of the previous night. He had been woken up to the sound of heavy breathing and crying, and had immediately gone to Harry’s bunk and pulled back the curtain to find the younger boy crying and looking terrified. Louis turned to where Harry was now snoring softly, laying on Louis arm. He was frowning in his sleep. Louis hoped he wasn’t having another bad dream, it must have been really bad for him to be that scared. Louis was worried about Harry. He really hadn’t been himself lately, and yesterday evening, the first night of their tour, he had gone off stage in the middle of a song, which is something he’d never done before, even when he was really sick. After the show, they had all asked him what happened and he just said he had food poisoning and felt like he was gonna throw up. No one asked any more questions but Louis thought something definitely seemed wrong. He looked at Harry now, and brushed a strand of his hair away from his eyes. He really was beautiful. Not in a gay way. Just as a friend. Louis wasn’t gay. Was he? He brushed the thoughts away as he focused on a more pressing matter at hand. He really needed a piss, but Harry had fallen asleep on his arm and he didn’t want to wake him. He would just have to wait. He turned his head to face Harry’s. Harry blinked as he finally woke up and green met blue as he saw Louis’ face centimeters from his.  
“Morning Styles” Smiled Louis. “How are you feeling?”

Minutes later, Louis and Harry were sat at the table in the tour bus, next to Niall who was attempting to balance a spoon on his nose. Liam was trying to wake up a sleepy Zayn but not having a lot of success. Harry nursed a coffee in his hands, and seemed deep in thought. Louis nudged his leg under the table and Harry looked up at him.  
“You ok?” Louis mouthed, Harry nodded and looked back at his hands. Liam walked in holding his phone.  
“It’s management” he said. “They want another interview today.”  
He felt Harry tense up next to him. He didn’t know what was wrong. Why was Harry acting so strange?

Harry’s POV

Harry didn't know what was wrong with him. He had done thousands of interviews in the past so why did the thought of this one fill him with dread? Maybe just because he was tired, he had had a crazy few days. He knew it would be ok, but even so, he really didn't feel like doing an interview.  
“Harry?”  
He looked up to see Louis staring at him with a strange expression. It would seem that he'd been saying his name for quite a while. Harry sighed.  
“Sorry Lou I was miles away”.  
“I can see that” Louis grinned, “I was saying that it's time to get ready for the interview, we'll be there in 20 minutes”.  
“Oh, ok” said Harry, turning to go back to his bunk.  
“Harry, I just wanted to ask if you were ok, it's just you've seemed stressed lately and not yourself, is anything up?” Blurted Louis.  
“Uh no, I'm...fine” Harry looked at his shoes.  
“Would you tell me if something was really wrong?” Asked Louis, his voice laced with concern.  
“Yeah” said Harry, leaving the room.  
That was a lie. He couldn't talk to Louis about what was going on. He would think he was so weak having anxiety about nothing. He was weak, and he hated himself for it. And he definitely couldn't tell Louis about his confusion with his sexuality. He knew Louis wasn't homophobic or anything, but he would surely find it weird. They had shared beds before, and the whole band had seen each other without clothes on. Yes. Louis couldn't know. Harry grabbed some clothes from the trunk under his bunk, and pulled them on. He then went into the small toilet, locked the door and looked at himself in the mirror above the sink. He focused on taking deep, even breaths and relaxing his body. He shut his eyes and rested his head against the cool mirror. He was determined that this interview would go ok. The doorknob rattled.  
“Harry, are you in there?” asked Niall “We’ve arrived”.  
Harry sighed, he hadn’t noticed that the bus had stopped. He glanced at himself one more time in the mirror, and exited the bathroom.

The five boys plus three bodyguards waited by the door of the bus, ready to rush straight into the building as soon as they were given the signal. This was so as to avoid the majority of the fans who were already forming in groups outside, screaming their names. The door opened and they were confronted with the sight of what seemed like hundreds of fans and paps. Harry’s stomach jolted. He started feeling hot all over as they began to make their way through the crowd, protected on all sides by the body guards. Harry’s breathing began to quicken. No not here, he thought, as he tried to control his breathing. At last they were inside the building, and led to a room where they could relax for a few minutes before the interview started. Harry immediately sunk into a chair, his leg shaking restlessly on the floor. All of the boys were looking at him worriedly.  
“You alright Harry?” asked Liam lightly.  
Harry nodded but said nothing, and Louis went to sit beside him. The other boys started up a loud conversation on the far side of the room to give them space to talk. 

Louis’ POV

Louis rested his hand lightly on Harry’s shaking leg.  
“D’ya wanna tell me what’s wrong?”  
“N-nothing’s wrong. I just feel a bit hot and dizzy. I’m fine.”  
Louis didn’t believe that that was all for a second, but Harry did look really pale.  
“Do you want a glass of water?” Asked Louis.  
“Yes please” murmured Harry.  
Louis brought him some water from the water cooler and watched him drink it, still worried.  
“Are you ok to do the interview?” Louis asked. He saw panic flash across Harry’s eyes for a moment before he nodded. Someone came in to ask them if they were ready, and they followed them to the interview room.  
The interview was going pretty well until about halfway through, when they asked Harry what had happened last night at the show, why he’d gone off stage. The question was only meant in a light hearted way, but Louis felt Harry tense up beside him.  
“Um...Well...Uh”  
Liam cut in, “I think you just felt a bit poorly didn’t you Harry?”. Everyone looked at Liam gratefully. The tension was over but Louis could still feel Harry beside him, and something seemed to be happening. Louis could feel him shaking next to him, and his breathing was quick and ragged. No one else had noticed, but Louis was sat right next to Harry and could see what was happening. Louis didn’t know what to do, he could see that Harry definitely wasn’t ok. He leant his face right next to Harry’s to whisper.  
“Do we need to stop the interview?”  
Harry nodded minutely, tears now trickling onto his clenched hands. Louis leant over to Liam and told him to stop the interview. Liam looked confused, but he knew something must be happening for Louis to ask him to stop the interview so he managed to awkwardly wrap things up.  
“That’s all from us today, but thank you for having us!”  
Everyone was looking at each other with confused expressions now, but as soon as the camera shut off, Harry was running out of the room, tears streaming down his face. Liam turned to Louis.  
“What just happened, what’s wrong with Harry?” Louis said he didn’t know, but was really worried and going to go after him.

Five minutes later he had found Harry on the floor of a bathroom, curled up with his head in his knees, gasping and sobbing. Louis ran up to him.  
“What’s wrong! What do you need?!”  
Harry could barely speak.  
“P-Panic at-tack” he gasped through his sobs. Louis didn’t know what to do. He had never seen this side of Harry before, and he had no idea why it was happening. But whatever it was, he needed to be there for his best friend, and he needed to start by calming him down. He knelt beside Harry.  
“You need to slow down your breathing babe. In through your nose and out through your mouth. Try and match my breaths. You're going to be ok. I’ve got you. Nothing can hurt you. In through your nose out through your mouth.”  
Louis kept repeating those things in Harry’s ear while rubbing circles on his back. After about 10 minutes of this, Harry’s breathing began to slow down and his gasps turned to quiet sobs as he buried his face in Louis’ jumper. Louis wrapped his arms around the younger boy and held him close until he had relaxed completely into his arms. Louis had never felt as much love for the younger boy as he did in that moment, sitting there, rocking him in his arms. 

**Author's Note:**

> This is my first fic, so please no hate but I am always open to comments and constructive criticism. Thanks for reading!  
> Lou X


End file.
